


How Did i Fall in Love With You

by zebraljb



Category: Backstreet Boys, NSYNC
Genre: Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-15
Updated: 2012-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-29 15:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/321154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin and Nick meet when they're teenagers...and a friendship soon progresses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU?  
One

 

Justin Timberlake and Nick Carter met when they were young. Neither of them remembered the exact first time they were introduced to each other, but as long as they could remember, they were aware of each other’s presence on the planet. They knew someone who knew someone who had auditioned with the other person, so names were always creeping up. They didn’t interact often, and neither knew that the other one had joined a new singing group.

When Nick was almost sixteen and Justin was almost fifteen, they were “officially” introduced to each other. The two groups were brought together for a photo shoot and joint interview, but the interview was never printed. The pictures weren’t either. Even though both groups knew it wasn’t the other group’s fault that they had to compete against each other, they took the anger out on one another. Gentle Lance was in Howie’s face, and Chris ended up with a black eye, gained from Kevin’s fist.

“Hi,” Nick said shyly to Justin. Justin was seated in a corner, waiting for something to happen. Either they’d do the shoot, or they’d be sent home. He was already really good at waiting.

“Hi.” Justin smiled briefly, then continued to bounce a Superball off the wall.

“I sure didn’t feel like coming here today,” Nick began, and Justin glared at him. “No! I mean, I knew this would happen.” He pointed to where Lance and Howie were exchanging insults. “We could all be friends, you know? I don’t wanna fight…I’d rather be off playing basketball. Lou HAD to know it would end up like this.”

“I bet he thinks we’ll work harder now, if we have something to fight against,” Justin said, angrily bouncing the ball. “Like we’re not working hard enough as it is.”

“Tell me about it,” Nick agreed.

“You like basketball?”

“Love it,” Nick answered. “I could play all day long.”

“Really? Me, too. Chris is the only one who’s any good at it…Lance is such a girl, and JC just wants to sleep.”

“I play with Brian.”

“Brian’s nice,” Justin said quickly. He knew Brian was Nick’s best friend. “And he sings real good.”

“So do you,” Nick said, and Justin blushed at the compliment.

“Lou…well, Lou wants me to be like the front man or something. Wants me in front to get the girls.”

“Really? Me, too,” Nick said sympathetically. “I’m already sick of it.”

“Hey.” Justin caught his ball and sat up straighter. “Wanna shoot hoops some time?”

“I dunno,” Nick said. “I mean, I want to, but I bet Lou won’t like it. And I don’t have a lot of free time.”

“Do you have email?”

“Yeah…I use AJ’s computer a lot.”

“Gimme your email. We’ll email, and if we find time, we’ll sneak out and shoot.”

“Yeah!” Nick said excitedly. He liked the idea of sneaking out. He smiled at Justin, who smiled back at his new friend.


	2. Chapter 2

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU?  
Two

 

“Did you have any problems getting away?” Justin asked Nick as soon as he and Brian walked onto the court. Chris nodded at Brian, who gave a brief wave hello.

“Nope. Lou loves Brian. And we had off today, anyway.” Nick looked at Chris, who was shooting some practice baskets. “Isn’t he kinda…old?”

“He just turned twenty-four,” Justin said, insulted. “He’s not old.”

“No! I mean…I just…sorry,” Nick mumbled, blushing. “I just normally don’t hang out with people that old. I mean, Kevin’s that old, but he acts it.”

Justin’s sunny smile flashed out. “Chris does NOT act it, that’s for sure. Isn’t Brian a lot older than you?”

“Five years,” Nick said.

“Like me and JC…except JC’s an old stick in the mud sometimes,” Justin said. “C’mon. Let’s play.”

Brian and Chris were about the same size, so they were paired up against each other. Nick guarded Justin, his long arms waving in Justin’s face. Justin laughed and easily dodged around him, that smile beaming as he easily sunk his first basket.

 

“Do you guys want to go get something to eat?” Justin asked as they all fell to the ground. The park was becoming more crowded, and they wanted to let other people use the baskets.

“We can’t,” Chris reminded him. “We have that dinner thing.”

“Thanks, anyway,” Brian said quickly. Justin liked Brian. He was nice and he was funny. He and Nick were hysterical together. Chris had even warmed up to him.

“Do you wanna do this again sometime?” Justin asked Nick. “I had fun. It’s more fun than just playing one on one with Chris.”

“Thanks a lot,” Chris said, rolling his eyes.

“I can’t. We’re, uh…we’re leaving soon,” Nick said evasively.

“Oh, well, maybe when you get back,” Justin said. Nick shrugged, and Justin was disappointed.

 

One week later, Chris came up to Justin as they were taking a break from dance rehearsal. Joey was standing in a corner with a towel over his head. JC was patiently going through the latest choreography, trying to help Lance.

“I know why your little pal Nick was going away,” Chris said.

“Yeah?”

“I heard Lou talking. They’re in Europe.”

“THEY’RE in Europe? But we’re going to Europe.”

“They’re doing it first,” Chris said, sighing. “Look, Curly, I know you like him. He’s your age, and you have a lot in common. They’re still competition. He knew that all along, and didn’t even bother to tell you.”

“Nick’s not like that,” Justin argued.

Chris smiled condescendingly, something he didn’t often do with Justin. “Not everyone is trustworthy, J. Remember that.”

Justin scowled at the back of Chris’ head as Chris walked away.

 

“Paul called me this morning,” Lynn said to her son. It was their third day overseas.

“Really?” Justin said to his cereal. He was grateful that his mother had remembered to pack a huge supply of Lucky Charms when they were preparing to come to Europe.

“You got a postcard. It’s postmarked like a month ago…part of the address was wrong.”

“I got a postcard?” Justin asked.

“He said it’s just signed ‘N.’ It was from Germany. Who do you know in Germany?”

“No one,” Justin said sadly, poking at the marshmallows. He knew exactly who it was from.


	3. Chapter 3

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU?  
Three

 

“Justin!” Justin looked up from tying his shoes and saw Nick shoving his way through the crowded locker room. They were in Germany for a celebrity basketball game, about two weeks before NSYNC was to return to the States.

“Oh. Hello, Nick.”

“What’s wrong?” Nick stared at him. “Didn’t you get any of my notes or anything? I sent them home, and I called once, but your dad…”

“STEP-dad,” Justin corrected.

“Your step-dad said he’d forward them along to you.” Nick tilted his head to the side. “What crawled up your butt?”

“Look, Nick.” Justin stood up, his blue eyes even with Nick’s. “You’re a Backstreet Boy. I’m in NSYNC. We’re not gonna be friends, okay? I’ve already learned that the only people I can trust are my own brothers.”

Disappointment flashed through Nick’s eyes before they shut down and became blue steel. “If that’s how you wanna be, fine. I felt sorry for you, you know, just starting out and all.” Nick’s attitude became cocky and confident. “I thought I’d show you the ropes.”

“I don’t need you to show me shit,” Justin snapped. “Leave me alone, okay? Quit stalking me, for God’s sake. Damn girl.” Justin turned and headed over to talk to JC. Nick sighed and went to Brian, not looking back.

 

They played the game, trying their best to avoid each other. Each group performed after the game. Nick made sure he was doing interviews when NSYNC performed, and Justin was in the locker room before Backstreet went on.

They were on their way out to the busses before Justin realized he had forgotten to throw his sneakers into his duffel. He called out to Joey to ask that they make sure and wait for him, then jogged back to the locker room.

“Mom, I gotta go. I’ll be late and Kevin will yell!” Justin heard Nick say.

“I’m your mother, Nickolas. I’m your parent. NOT Kevin Richardson,” a woman snapped. Nick sighed loudly.

“Sorry.”

“You didn’t even try out there. You messed up your dancing, and your voice was flat. What’s going on?”

“Mom, I’m tired, okay? I just played a full game of basketball, and then I had to perform.”

“You don’t get tired, Nick. You’re a superstar. Act like one, understand me? There are a million blond-haired, blue-eyed boys out there. Mr. Pearlman could pick any one of them and replace you. Got it?”

“Okay, Mom,” Nick said, and Justin could hear the tears in his voice. Justin drew back into the shadows of the hallway as he heard Mrs. Carter come pounding down the hall.

Justin tiptoed into the locker room. Nick was wiping at his eyes, sniffling slightly. Justin bumped into a locker and Nick jumped. “Sorry. Uh, forgot my shoes.” Justin grabbed them and turned to go.

“Now you can have a good laugh,” Nick said, and Justin turned around. “You hate me, right? And now you can tell all your little friends that Nick Carter’s a big crybaby.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Justin said.

“You don’t have to.”

Justin sat down at the end of Nick’s bench, instantly grateful for the wonderful relationship he had with his mother. “Is…is she always like that?”

“Pretty much.” Nick toyed with his own sneaker. “She wants this more than I do sometimes.”

“Don’t do it for her. Do it for you.”

“Why do you care? I’m just a Backstreet Boy, right?”

“True,” Justin said, standing. He put his nose in the air. “You’re right. I don’t care.”

“What the hell DID crawl up your ass, Timberlake?”

Justin whirled around. “You! You went to Europe and couldn’t even tell me? You had to hurry over here and make it big before us…and you never even bothered to mention it that day!”

“Brian said it wouldn’t be a good idea. He said you’d get mad.”

“Damn right I got mad. Chris was right…can’t trust any of you.” Justin kicked at the bench, scowling.

“Do you always do what Chris says?” Nick asked.

“Do you always do what Brian says?” Justin countered.

“I wanted to tell you,” Nick said finally. “I was so excited, but I knew it would hurt your feelings. I wasn’t trying to lie to you.” Nick sighed. “And it was hell the first few weeks.”

“Tell me about it,” Justin said. “I’m just glad my mom was along.”

“Your mom went with you?”

“Yeah. Lance’s, too, for a bit.”

“That’s so cool,” Nick said wistfully. “Mine was too busy with my brother.”

“I’m sorry, you know, that I said some of that stuff,” Justin said, sighing. Nick smiled a bit.

“Me, too.”

“If we’re friends, it won’t be easy,” Justin said. “No one will like it.”

“No one needs to know,” Nick said. “I’m getting my own computer soon…we’re starting to do well at home.”

“JC has one…his parents give him anything he wants,” Justin said. “I’ll make him let me use it.”

“So, we’re gonna be friends?” Nick asked. Justin slowly smiled.

“Yeah. We are.”


	4. Chapter 4

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU  
Four

 

TO: OrlandoBlueEyes@hotmail.com  
FROM: TennesseeCurly@aol.com

 

Nick,

 

Sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. How are things with you? I guess you’re doing those state fairs or whatever right now. Are the girls screaming for you yet? Do they know your name?

 

We have a little gig down here tomorrow…nothing big, just at the theme park. But it’s exposure…better than playing parking lots and malls!

 

I ran into this girl I used to know on the MMC…her name’s Britney. She’s cute, talks a lot.

 

Justin

 

TO: TennesseeCurly@aol.com  
FROM: OrlandoBlueEyes@hotmail.com

 

J…

 

Hey buddy how r u? I’m fine. Yeah, we’re doing the state fair thing. It’s kinda dorky…I don’t really get it, but it’s something. They’re starting to hold up signs with our names on them. I saw three last night asking me to marry them! Uh, hello, too young here!

 

I remember that Britney girl from the TV show. Isn’t she a lot younger than you?

 

Nick

 

TO: TennesseeCurly@aol.com  
FROM: OrlandoBlueEyes@hotmail.com

 

Hey J…

 

I haven’t heard from you in almost a week. Everything okay? They’re starting to talk arena tours for us…can you believe it?

 

Nick

 

TO: OrlandoBlueEyes@hotmail.com  
FROM: TennesseeCurly@aol.com

 

Nick,

 

Sorry I didn’t write before now. Everything’s fine with me, but otherwise it’s pure hell. Lance just got out of the hospital. Some problem with his heart? He’s okay now, but it was so damn scary…and Lou was such a fucking dickhead about it. I know I shouldn’t say that about him, but it’s true. We ended up having to perform anyway…Lou said we could go on without Lance, that we were just fine without him. Not many people know this, but Lou and management wanted to get rid of Lance a little while ago. They said that he couldn’t dance, he looked like a girl, and he would only bring us down. But we fought back and kept Lance in.

 

I like Lance, Nick. I like Lance a lot. He’s kinda weird…likes reading and studying and stuff, LOVES to read about space, but he reminds me of home, and he’s close to my age. We talk about stuff…and we help each other. I help him with dancing, and he helps me with my homework. I was so scared when he was in the hospital. And what Lou said was wrong. He said it would be fine without him. It wasn’t. There was no low voice, and we sounded weak and fake. And I just…missed him. Thank God he’s okay. So, anyway, that’s why I didn’t write before.

 

How are you?

 

J

 

“How are you feeling, Lance?” Joey asked Lance anxiously. Lance gave him a tired grin as he toweled off his head.

“Tired but good. It felt really good.”

“It’s great to have you back,” JC told Lance. “Really, man.”

“Too bad you can’t go out with us tonight and celebrate,” Chris said, dancing around the dressing room. “We’ll just have to celebrate for you.”

“Three more years,” Lance sulked, kicking at the leg of his chair.

“Hey, Lance, there’s a present for you here,” Joey observed as he grabbed an apple from a fruit basket. He pointed to a small package wrapped in plain brown paper.

“Really?” Lance looked up with interest. Justin silently picked it up and handed it to him, pausing for a moment as he read the handwriting on the top. He knew that handwriting.

“What is it?” Joey asked.

“It says, ‘To Lance…hope you’re feeling better. When you need some rest, read me.’ Hmm…” Lance said, tearing open the paper. “Oh, cool!” Lance read the back of the book. “The Right Stuff! I love this book…my copy’s about falling apart! But…” Lance looked around. “Which one of you did this?”

They all shook their heads, though Justin had to smile. It was so nice of Nick to send Lance a gift. “Someone who knows about your love of space did it, Lance,” Justin said. “It’s cool.”

“Yeah, it is.” Lance continued to flip through the book as he picked up his duffel. Joey picked up his duffel and Lance.

“Let’s roll!” Joey yelled, jogging towards the waiting vans. Lance giggled over his shoulder.

 

TO: OrlandoBlueEyes@hotmail.com  
FROM: TennesseeCurly@aol.com

 

Nick…that was so cool, what you did for Lance. I appreciated it, and so did he. You’re an awesome friend. I’m just sorry we have to hide it. Talk to you soon.

 

Justin


	5. Chapter 5

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU  
Five

 

“Do we have time for me to go to the bathroom?” Justin begged. The assistant looked at her watch.

“You have about three minutes,” she told him, frowning.

“Thank God.” Justin bounded up from his chair and hurried through the tiny studio. Girls giggled as he passed, and he put on his best smile for them. He ran into a brick wall as he hurried down the hall. “I’m sorry,” he said automatically. He steadied himself by putting his hands on the person’s broad shoulders.

“Watch where you’re going, Curly,” the person said with a lazy grin.

Justin gasped, all thoughts of going to the bathroom long forgotten. “Nick?”

“Hey, there, superstar.” Nick gave Justin a brief hug. “Where are you off to? Don’t you have to perform for all your worshippers?”

“I, uh, have to go to the bathroom,” Justin said, still in shock.

“I’ll come with you…you might need help,” Nick teased. Justin turned and headed for the bathroom.

Nick leaned against the sinks as Justin went to the urinal. “Uh, what are you doing here?”

“I just happened to be in the city…heard about your big shindig and decided to drop by,” Nick said. “Is that a problem?”

Justin shook, zipped and flushed. “No,” he said, turning around. “It’s been ages since I saw you.” Justin went to wash his hands.

“How are you?” Nick asked gently.

“Scared to death,” Justin told him. “This album will make or break us.” Justin sighed. “I never expected all those people to show up, though.”

“They pretty much had to shut the town down for you,” Nick said. “You totally shut down New York, dude!”

“I know.” Justin nervously dried his hands on his jeans. Someone knocked at the door and they both jumped.

“Mr. Timberlake…we need you out here.”

“Okay,” Justin called. He looked at Nick. “It’s so nice to see you…we never get to really spend time together, and it sucks.”

“What are you doing for dinner?” Nick asked. “I’m staying at the Trump…we could eat in my room.”

“That would be great,” Justin said happily. “We need to catch up. Emails don’t do it right.”

“No, they don’t.” Nick gave Justin another hug. “I’m proud of you, man.”

“Thanks,” Justin said shyly, then he hurried back to where the rest of the world was waiting for him.

 

“Come on, Justin! Let’s go celebrate!” Joey threw an arm around Justin’s shoulders. “We’ll get dinner, then go to a club.”

“That’s such a bad idea,” Lance moaned. “We’ll get mobbed anywhere we go.”

“Especially if we’re together,” Justin said quickly. “We’ll celebrate once the CD comes out. For all we know, it’ll bomb.”

“That’s positive thinking,” JC said, giving Justin a worried look. Of all of them, Justin had been the most confident about the new CD.

“Sorry,” Justin said. “I just don’t wanna count my CDs before they’re bought.”

“Well, we know we’ll sell at least five,” Chris said thoughtfully. “Because we’ll each buy one. And then Joey’s mom and dad, JC’s mom and dad, Lance’s mom and dad…Justin’s mom and stepdad, and dad and stepmom, and my mom…and my grandma…that’s how many?”

“We are NOT making our families buy the CD, Chris,” Lance said sternly.

“Look…I’m meeting a friend for dinner, so I’ll catch y’all tomorrow, okay?” Justin said finally.

“A friend?” Chris asked. Joey laughed.

“You don’t think we know about the two of you?” Joey asked.

“It’s not her,” Justin muttered, grabbing his jacket.

“Oh! A new ‘friend,’ huh?” JC teased gently.

“Goodbye, guys,” Justin said, shaking his head.

 

Nick paced nervously in his hotel room. It felt weird, spending a whole evening with Justin. They had become good friends, emailing and calling whenever they could, but it was so hard to keep it a secret. Nick was used to keeping secrets, though; it seemed that his whole life was one big secret anymore.

NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys kept taking turns at Number One, it seemed. And now NSYNC was ready to release a brand new album…one they had created virtually on their own. Nick really admired them for that, and he knew the others in his group felt the same way. In all honesty, Nick wished that he himself had the courage to speak up for himself the way the members of NSYNC did. It felt like all he did was follow orders lately.

A knock at the door made him jump. He smoothed down his hair and made himself relax. It was only Justin. It wasn’t like a date or anything, because he was straight and didn’t feel that way about Justin.

“Hi,” Justin said, smiling when Nick opened the door. “Sorry I’m late.”

“You’re barely late.” Nick stepped aside and Justin came in, tossing his jacket onto a chair.

“The guys wanted to go out and do some sort of big thing…but I got out of it.”

“I’m sorry if I kept you from doing something fun,” Nick said. Justin rolled his eyes.

“It’s NOT my idea of fun. Don’t get me wrong, fancy dinners and clubbing are just as fun to me as they are to the next person, but not now and not in this city. We woulda been mobbed in an instant.”

“Isn’t it amazing how quick these girls learn where we are?” Nick shook his head in amazement.

“The internet is a wonderful thing,” Justin said, shaking his head as well.

Nick slapped the room service menu against Justin’s chest. “Order. I’m starving.”

Justin kept one eye on the menu and one eye on Nick. Nick flopped onto the sofa and stared at the ceiling, red lips puckered as he whistled cheerfully. “Just get me a cheeseburger and fries. And some nachos. Yeah.”

“Mmm…nachos sound GREAT,” Nick agreed. He called in the order, getting himself a bacon cheeseburger.

Justin sat down on a chair near the sofa. “Nick, I need to be honest with you about something.” Justin’s blue eyes were serious as he looked at Nick. Nick sat up slowly, butterflies twirling about in his stomach. In the years that they’d been friends, he and Justin had done their best to always be honest with each other. The serious look on Justin’s face worried him.

“Lemme guess,” Nick said, trying to grin. “You and Lance are secretly an item, and have been since Europe.”

Justin actually paled, and Nick swallowed deeply. “Uh, no! What made you say that?” Justin laughed weakly.

“Is there something you’re trying to tell me?” Nick whispered.

“Yeah, but not about Lance. Damn, Nick,” Justin said, giving another lame ha-ha. “It’s about me and Britney Spears. She’s, well, she’s my girlfriend now.”

“Oh,” Nick said. “Uh, well, that’s great.”

“We’re keeping it on the lowdown for now.” Justin ran a hand through his curls. “God, it seems that every relationship in my life is a secret.”

“And you’re not even getting sex from me,” Nick tried to joke. Justin blushed slightly.

“Well, I’m not getting it from her, either. Not yet.” Nick raised an eyebrows. “God, Nick, that’s what groupies are for. You know that. She knows I get some now and then, and that I’m careful…but she’s not ready for all that.”

“Okay, whatever. And like I said, it’s great for you, man. I know you can get lonely.”

“How about you?”

Nick looked at his shoes. “Dates here and there, but no one steady.”

“Sorry,” Justin said sympathetically. He reached for the remote.

“Justin,” Nick said, and Justin stopped in mid-lean. “Why did you get so freaked out about what I said? About you and Lance?” Justin paled again. “I kissed AJ once,” Nick said quickly, and Justin’s mouth fell open. “He’s, well, bisexual, you know, and I wanted to see. So I kissed him. Once.”

“And you’re just telling me this now?”

“It’s not exactly something you tell someone through an email,” Nick pointed out. “I thought maybe you were homophobic or something, so I just wanted to tell you.”

“I’m NOT homophobic,” Justin promised. “Jeez, Nick. I’m cool with everyone.”

“Good,” Nick said. “Not that I’m gay or anything,” he added.

“Right.” Justin shook his head, confused at the turn the conversation had taken. The room was filled with an uneasy silence.

“I brought my Playstation,” Nick said, and Justin’s face lit up.

“Excellent! I was looking for someone’s ass to kick.”

“Hardly, Curly. C’mon. It’s set up in the bedroom.” Nick threw an arm around Justin’s shoulder as they left the living room, all confusion and awkwardness forgotten.


	6. Chapter 6

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU  
Six

 

“C’mon, AJ, let me use it!” Nick whined.

“Junior, is it my fault you left your damn laptop at home?” AJ growled.

“AJ, can’t you even go away for a hundred hours and not get your cybersex?” Howie said sleepily from the sofa.

“Shut up, D,” AJ snapped. “Fine,” he sighed. “We’ll let the baby get his cybersex.” AJ signed off and almost threw the laptop onto Nick’s lap. “Here. I need some sleep, anyway.”

“Thank you.” Nick retreated into a corner of the huge jet and logged on. He smiled when he saw an email from Justin.

 

TO: OrlandoBlueEyes@hotmail.com  
FROM: TennesseeCurly@aol.com

 

Nick,

 

Did you ever have one of those days when everything in your life goes wrong? I’m having that kind of LIFE right now. Bitch-of-the-Week JC has decided that maybe he doesn’t WANT to do another album. Maybe NSA was enough for him. Maybe he wants to just write and produce and drink his fucking wine and paint his fucking art. That’s fine with me. And there’s so much other shit…God, Nick, I envy you. You’re doing your thing, but you’re far away from all the bullshit. I hate my fucking life.

 

Justin

 

Nick sighed and closed his eyes. Justin had never sounded like this, and it sucked that he couldn’t be there for him. Cellphone usage was impossible on the plane, and they weren’t anywhere long enough for him to call…and the time difference was too difficult to navigate. This special tour to start off their Black and Blue album had been a great idea on paper, but in reality it was a living hell.

 

TO: TennesseeCurly@aol.com  
FROM: OrlandoBlueEyes@hotmail.com

 

J,

 

Dude, trust me. U ain’t the only one that got it bad, dog. Have you ever tried to sleep next to Kevin? He snores like a freakin freight train. And he’s a bigger dad than ever now…making sure everything runs as smooth as possible. He’s a dickhead, actually. I’ll be SO glad to get away from him and the others. Even Brian. And Kevin thinks he’s such a bigshot because they let him fly the damn plane. Woofuckinghoo.

 

Mebbe we can get together after I’m back and sleep for fifteen kazillion hours. Mebbe you could call Britney…can’t she give you some stress release? >

 

N

 

Justin read the email from Nick and couldn’t help but smile. He loved his bandmates, but spending a hundred hours with them, most of it in close quarters on a jumbo jet, would drive him crazy. He just knew Nick would make him smile, which is why he had even opened up to Nick in the first place. It was nice sometimes to have someone you could talk to about this kind of thing, but yet the person was outside your own little camp. God knows he couldn’t talk to Britney about it…the problem that was the base for everything else was something she definitely would NOT understand. And his best friend, Chris…well…he was too damn supportive of every one of them to take his side. And his supposed best friend, JC…hah. What a laugh.

Justin closed down his computer and leaned back in his chair. He was glad that Nick was doing something exciting, starting off the new CD with a bang…but he’d give anything to see him.

 

“Oh, GOD, why are you making me get up?” Justin groaned, rolling himself off the sofa. He had eaten the best Thanksgiving dinner EVER at his mother’s earlier that day, and now all he wanted to do was curl up and nap. He walked to the door, looking through the peephole. “Hey!” Justin threw the door open.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” Nick beamed at Justin.

“But you’re…you’re away!” Justin said, shocked.

“No, I’m here. Is this a bad thing?” Nick looked worried. He glanced over Justin’s shoulder, wondering if Britney was in the other room.

“No! Man, it’s great!” Justin pulled Nick into his house and hugged him. “Damn, it’s great to see you. I just…I thought you’d still be resting up after that trip.”

“That was days ago, man. I’m okay now. I just couldn’t handle being with my family right now. I went over and ate a bit, saw my brother and sisters, then bailed. How about you?”

“I ate the biggest dinner of my life, and now I’m vegging like the slob that I am,” Justin said. He turned off the TV and flopped back down on the sofa. “Have a seat.”

“I hope you don’t mind me just showing up…I wanted to surprise you.”

“You did just that,” Justin said, smiling at Nick. “So…tell me about the trip. I know the bits that you told me in emails…”

“Oh! I brought you something!” Nick held out the small bag he had been carrying. “Silly, I know…but it has some irony to it.”

Justin opened the bag and grinned. “Man, this is cute.” He took out the small stuffed kangaroo.

“I got it in the airport in Australia. It’s named Joey. I thought, you know, if you ever got all pissed off again, you could look at it and…I dunno. It’s girlie and retarded, I guess.” Nick blushed.

“Nah, man, it’s adorable. I love it. Thanks.” Justin carefully sat it on his coffee table.

“I was worried about you, ya know,” Nick said. “You were sounding, like, suicidal.”

“I know.” Justin ran a hand through his curls. “I just…everything fell apart there for a while.”

“Is JC gonna do your next album.”

“Yes, thank God. I’m not ready for NSYNC to die yet,” Justin said. “It wasn’t just that, though.” Justin bit at a fingernail.

“J, what’s up, dude? You’re talking in code,” Nick said. “We’ve been friends for a while now. Nothing you can say or do can freak me out and make me run.”

“Lance and JC hooked up!” Justin blurted. Nick blinked. Justin blushed. “Okay, you’re like the enemy, technically, so if you leak this anywhere I swear to God you’ll be singing falsetto forever.”

“I won’t tell anyone, Justin,” Nick said almost angrily.

“I know. Sorry.” Justin smiled apologetically. “So, anyway, they just kinda let it slip. Like, hey, we’ve been fucking like bunnies for over a year and now we’re an item, please pass the salt.”

Nick chuckled. “That must’ve been Lance.”

“Yeah,” Justin said, smiling. “JC would have been like all careful, like, I don’t want anything to change but there’s an important development that involves the group, or something weird. So anyway, yeah. There we were at dinner, and Lance lets it loose. Joey almost choked on his chicken.”

“And this upsets you?” Nick asked slowly.

“Not like you think. Man, I want them happy. I love them both, and it’s so damn hard to find something special in our world. But, shit, Nick…” Justin stood up and paced. “Remember when you joked once about me and Lance?” Nick nodded. “Lance and I made out once. More than once…like a lot for like three months during Europe and after.” Nick’s mouth fell open. “We were both like, curious, and we were always together. Then we realized it wasn’t what we wanted…but Lance is still gay. I knew that. It…I guess I was jealous.” Justin gave a small smile. “Yeah, I’m not a spoiled diva or anything…here I am with a hot girlfriend, but Lance is supposed to stay celibate in memory of a few months when we were horny teenagers?”

“It’s okay, Justin,” Nick said. “You’re allowed to feel that way.”

“I’m better now. I just felt…betrayed. And now you know why I could never tell Britney that. She wouldn’t get it. She’s too perfect and prudish,” Justin said, frowning.

“Hey…wanna take a walk or something?” Nick said, needing fresh air. “No one will be expecting us to be out and about on Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah,” Justin said, stretching. “I need to walk this food off.” He smiled. “Thanks, Nick. I knew you’d understand.”

“No problem,” Nick said, standing up as well.


	7. Chapter 7

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU  
Seven

 

Nick rubbed at his nose, not carrying that he was wiping snot all over one of his favorite shirts. “Kevin, are you serious?”

“Dead serious.” Kevin looked from Nick to Howie to Brian to AJ. AJ looked at the floor. “This shit is fucked up, AJ. You need to get a hold on it.”

“I have a hold on it,” AJ snapped.

“No, Aje, you don’t,” Howie said gently, putting a hand on AJ’s arm. AJ pulled away.

“Don’t fucking touch me. I’m sick now, right? Got the plague or something?” AJ glared at them all, then looked at Nick. “What do YOU think, Junior?”

“I want you to get help, AJ. You haven’t been the same for ages,” Nick whispered. AJ’s brown eyes softened for a brief second, then they hardened again.

“Fuck you,” AJ spat, standing up. “Fine. I’ll go to your fucking rehab. Happy?”

“Dammit, AJ!” Nick yelled, surprising everyone, including himself. AJ jumped and took a step back. “We worry about you. We care about you. It isn’t OUR rehab. It doesn’t help US any. You being gone means we need to postpone the tour and reschedule. It makes us lose a shitload of money…but in the end we get our brother back.” Nick turned and punched the wall, yelping as his hand made contact. Brian gasped.

“Nick!”

“Shut up, Brian.” Nick cradled his right hand in the palm of his left and brushed past AJ. “Go, AJ. Tonight.”

 

“We started grinding, Shorty had me up against the wall,” Justin sang to himself as he climbed into the backseat of the waiting car. “Thanks for waiting,” he said to the driver, who nodded and pulled out into traffic. Justin had left his bag on the floor when he had gone into the club, and he dug in it for his cellphone. He smiled when he saw Nick’s number on the “missed calls” list. He quickly punched the numbers to access his voicemail. His smile faded as he listened to Nick’s message. Nick was sniffling. Nick was…crying.

“Um, J? Yeah, it’s me. Shit, man. I…well, we’re home for a while. AJ…” Nick actually sobbed. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have drank all that shit. And I hurt my hand…and this so fucking sucks. Love you, man…hope everything’s good for you.”

Justin hung up and dialed the phone. “Lance? Yes, I know what time it is. Do I have time to go home?”

 

Nick padded to the door in bare feet, scratching himself through his boxers. He looked through the peephole and gasped. He ran a hand over his messy hair, then opened the door. “Justin?”

“It’s my turn,” Justin said simply. He breezed by Nick and went to sit on the living room sofa. He looked at the room, taking in the empty beer cans, dirty dishes, and old newspapers. “So…what’s up?”

Nick’s lower lip trembled. “AJ finally went into rehab. He was falling apart, and Kevin gave him an ultimatum. He went, or we broke up.”

“God, Nick.” Justin looked up at Nick, who fell to his knees in front of Justin.

“This scares the hell outta me, J. We all knew AJ was just drinking himself into a hole, but rehab, man…what could this do to us?” Nick let out a bitter laugh. “And what kinda friend am I, thinking that way? I should be glad that he’s doing something like this.”

“You’re a human being,” Justin said gently. Nick’s eyes swam with tears. Justin looked down at Nick’s hand, which was wrapped in bandages. “What’s this?”

“I punched the wall so I wouldn’t punch AJ.”

“Dumbass,” Justin said affectionately. He lightly touched the hand, then put a hand on the back of Nick’s neck. “C’mere.”

Justin pulled Nick into a hug and Nick finally let it all go. He sobbed on Justin’s shoulder, clutching at Justin’s sweatshirt. Justin didn’t say anything, just made sure that Nick had something to hold onto. After about ten minutes, Nick finally pulled away.

“Sorry.” Nick swiped at his eyes.

“Don’t be. Why don’t you go up and get some sleep? I’ll clean up around here…looks like it needs it.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be…promoting your new CD or whatever?” Nick asked, sniffling.

“Yeah,” Justin said, shrugging. “But it’s not just my CD. I got four other guys who can promote it just as good as I could.”

“But you’re Justin Timberlake,” Nick teased gently.

“Damn straight, and don’t you forget it,” Justin said, with mock ego. He smiled at Nick. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.” Nick nodded. Justin kept the hand on the back of Nick’s neck and they pressed their foreheads together. “Thanks,” Nick whispered.

Justin swallowed deeply, his eyes fixed on the fullness of Nick’s lower lip. Justin licked his own lips. “No problem. That’s what friends are for.”

Nick finally pulled away and stood up. “I’m gonna go upstairs.” Justin nodded and watched Nick walk away.


	8. Chapter 8

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU  
Eight

 

“Maybe it’ll look good, man,” JC said, curling up next to Lance on the couch.

Justin smiled. After all the time that JC and Lance had officially been together, it was still a shock to see how well the two of them fit together. It was almost like they became one person when they got close. Justin envied them.

“How?” Justin asked.

“Ya know…throwing off the old ball and chain, starting a solo career.”

“I am NOT starting a solo career,” Justin reminded him. “Going into the studio to record does not mean I’m ditching you guys.”

“SURE it doesn’t,” Lance and JC said together. Justin rolled his eyes.

“Whatever.”

“Look, J, we each have our own thing going. Joey’s gonna try Broadway, I’m trying to get into space…” Lance rolled his eyes. “And you’re trying this. You’re the one, Justin. If any of us is gonna go solo, it’s you.”

“Really, J. He’s right.” JC yawned and moved to put his head in Lance’s lap. Lance sighed and pretended to be offended.

“Is “JC Chasez’s Personal Pillow” tattooed on my ass?”

“If anyone would know, I would,” JC said tiredly.

“Too much information for the baby,” Justin said, covering his ears. Lance hooted.

“Anyway, J…” JC continued in a soft voice “If you don’t think this thing is right with Britney, you just need to do it. And you can always turn it to your advantage…like you’re throwing off all the things that hold you back.”

“A little bit of business-savvy from the sensitive one,” Lance said, playing with one of JC’s curls. “Impressive.” JC turned his head to bite Lance’s thigh and Lance yelped.

“I don’t know WHAT I want,” Justin said. “I’m all about going into the studio, and I feel like…like I don’t have enough to give her. I love her…but it’s not what I want anymore.”

JC sat up and looked Justin in the eye. “Always be honest, Justin. Sometimes it hurts people, but it’s better in the end.”

“And you guys AREN’T holding me back,” Justin said, referring to JC’s earlier statement.

“Hey, speaking of moving forward, guess who ELSE is in the studio right now?” Lance said. “I heard it through the grapevine…Nick Carter.”

 

“Yes, yes, yes…” Nick said, writing quickly and nodded. “Damn that’s good…wonder if it’s too late to ask them to use this?”

A pounding on his door made him jump. He got up and answered it. “Nick.” Justin coldly shoved past Nick and went into the house.

“Hello to you, too, stranger. Where the hell have you been?” Nick exclaimed. “I called you twice.”

“I was preparing to go into the studio.” Justin turned and glared at Nick. “Which, I hear, you are, too.”

“Yeah! I’m so excited about it.” Nick did a double-take as he looked at Justin’s face. “Shit…you’re pissed.”

“Uh, yeah.” Justin smacked the hallway wall. “You weren’t gonna tell me? This is Germany all over again!”

“I mentioned the possibility to you,” Nick said evasively.

“The POSSIBILITY!” Justin repeated.

“I didn’t lie to you, Justin,” Nick said. Justin raised an eyebrow in a motion that would have made Lance proud. “I was actually afraid you’d overreact. Funny, why’d I think that?”

“Don’t turn this back on me, Nick. If I was really your friend, you’d have told me.”

“Don’t you see why I didn’t want to?” Nick yelled. “Look what the simple idea is doing to us now! When we finish the albums, and they start to get promoted, all hell will break loose. Everyone will start to compare us. We’ll have to make lameass remarks to the press about how we’re going in totally different directions with our music, but that we still respect the other person. You think that’s gonna be easy?” Nick ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus, Justin…you’re practically my best friend, and I can’t tell anyone. Now I need to act like you’re just another singer, doing just another CD, and I have to pretend that I could give a rat’s ass what you think about my work. And I DO care. I care a lot.”

“Nick…”

“NO. You don’t come bursting into my house and call me a liar. Fuck that.” Nick made a fist and headed for the wall, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him just in time.

“You need to stop going after innocent walls,” Justin said quietly. “Hit me if you want…at least I won’t hurt your hand as much.” He tightened his hold on Nick’s shoulder. “Nick, I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have just burst in here like that, screaming like a fool. I was just…I was hurt you didn’t say anything. You’re so excited, and it’s what you want, yet you couldn’t share it with me?”

“I was afraid of losing your friendship over it,” Nick said finally. “Damn, Justin, I talk to you almost every day. We’ve been friends for like seven years or something.”

“You’re not losing me,” Justin promised. “Fuck them and everything they say. We’re better than that. And I’ll be first in line to buy your CD.”

“It’s gonna be good,” Nick said. “I feel it. I’m just happy with everything about it.”

“And that’s what’s important.” Justin gave Nick a hug, sighing as he felt Nick’s warm breath on his neck.  
“Love you, man,” Nick said, and his heart tightened as he said the casual words.


	9. Chapter 9

HOW DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU  
Nine

 

 _Remember when we never needed each other…the best of friends, like sister and brother…we understood we’d never be alone…those days are gone, and I want you so much…the night is long, and I need your touch…don’t know what to say, I never meant to feel this way…don’t want to be alone tonight…_

 

“This is just so wrong,” JC said, running shaking hands through his hair as they left the theater.

“JC, put your hat on!” Justin snapped. JC slapped the brown fisherman’s style hat onto his hat.

“There.” JC stared at his feet as they walked back to the hotel. “Happy?”

“Not when you’re so miserable. He’ll be fine, JC. He’ll be fine, and he’ll break all kinds of records, and he’ll be so thrilled he won’t be able to stand it!” Justin promised.

“Did you see that damned space station? It was practically held together with Super Glue and duct tape,” JC protested. “My…my baby can’t go up to that!”

“He can and he will, Jayce. I know you’re worried, but Lance is smart. If there were THAT many chances of him getting hurt, he’d stay home,” Justin insisted. He regretted ever agreeing to go to the IMAX show with JC. “Come up for a while? I don’t have to be at rehearsal for a bit, and I need to talk to you.”

“Sure.” JC followed Justin into the elevator. “What’s going on?”

Justin waited until they were safe inside his hotel suite. “I broke up with Britney.”

“Duh, J, I knew that,” JC said. “No sweat. You give it some time, and…”

“We won’t be getting back together,” Justin interrupted. “I’m in love with someone else.”

JC sat down hard. “Really?”

“Yes. I’ve been in love with them for years…and I just kinda figured it out. And I didn’t want to be alone today…if I’m alone, I think, and I worry, and I get depressed.” Justin sat down next to JC.

“Well…go on.”

“I’m friends with Nick Carter. I have been for years now,” Justin began.

“What does that have to do with you being in love?” JC asked. “Oh. OH.” JC stared at him. “You’re in love with Nick Carter?” Justin nodded. “Well, hell…when did you decide you were gay?”

“I don’t think I’m gay…bi, maybe. I mean, girls are hot and all, but Nick…he’s just been there for me all these years…and now…I love him.” Justin looked at JC. “I don’t know if you knew this, but me and Lance, we used to, uh…”

“He told me at the beginning,” JC said gently. “And if I didn’t believe him then, I did when we told you about us. You were jealous for weeks.”

“Was not,” Justin muttered, and JC grinned. “I just…I want what you and Lance have.”

“How does Nick feel?”

“I don’t know,” Justin said. “I know he’s had a few bi-sexual encounters…but I don’t know that he feels that way about me.”

 

 _What can I do to make it right? Falling so hard, so fast this time…What did I say? What did you do? How did I fall in love with you?_

 

“I appreciate the offer, man, but I’m going up to New York to the MTV thing,” Nick said into the phone. “Yeah, I know, Bri…but sorry. I have to be there. Yeah, okay, bye.” Nick hung up and finished packing.

He sat on the bed by his suitcase, trying to control the thoughts that were swirling around in his brain. After an ill-fated attempt to bring a groupie back to a hotel room, he realized that casual sex was no longer what he wanted. Groupies were no longer what he wanted. There was one person he wanted, and it was the person he would probably never be able to get.

 

“Hello?” Nick said, grabbing for his cellphone as he dropped his suitcase onto the bed. He was finally in New York, after a hellish flight that had him clutching the armrests. What a way to start this trip.

“Nick? Are you here yet?”

“Hi, Justin.” Nick closed his eyes, imagining the now red curls and beautiful blue eyes. “Yeah, just got in.”

“Dude, I am so nervous. This thing is huge,” Justin said, and Nick could see him pacing.

“You’ll be great, man. I know it.”

“I’m gonna blow off the parties after…wanna get together?”

“Yeah…that’d be great.”

“Good. I…I need to tell you something.”

They chatted for a few moments longer before hanging up.

 

 _I hear your voice and I start to tremble…brings back the child that I resemble…I cannot pretend that we can still be friends…don’t wanna be alone tonight…_

 

Justin bit at his fingernails as he waited backstage. He had already been nervous, but after the conversation with Nick, he had turned into a wreck. He just wanted to curl up into a little ball and hide. He wasn’t good enough to do this alone, and he sure as hell wasn’t good enough for Nick to want him.

“Stop it,” JC snapped, grabbing Justin’s hands. “You’ll be fine.”

“Will I?”

“Yes. You’ve got it all, J. Or at least you will after tonight.” JC gave him a hug.

 

“Hey.” Justin smiled nervously when Nick opened the door to his room.

“Man, you were amazing!” Nick gave Justin a huge hug, dragging him into the hotel room. “I was so proud! I know I’ll never get that good.”

“Stop it,” Justin said, blushing. “It wasn’t all that.”

“The hell it wasn’t,” Nick said. “Ya wanna order room service?”

“No, I, uh, need to talk to you.” Justin sat down, then stood. “I…we…I can’t be friends with you anymore, Nick.”

Nick stared, sitting down hard. When Justin had said he had to talk to Nick, Nick had thought of a hundred reasons why. This was not on the list. “What? Why?”

Justin started to speak, then stopped. He tried again. “It’s just…I can’t do this anymore. I can’t…I can’t be friends.”

“Justin, you can’t just throw this at me. Tell me why!” Nick’s voice rose in a panicked yell. “We’ve been friends for years!”

“I…I can’t do this.” Nick was shocked to see Justin fighting tears. “I’m miserable and…”

“I make you miserable?”

“No! I…oh, fuck it.” Justin stopped pacing. “I love you. I’m IN love with you. I’m bisexual, and I love you. And I can’t just be your friend before, because, well, I can’t. It hurts. And I needed to say it now…it didn’t come out right, but, well, there you go.”

“Really?” Nick’s heart hammered in his chest.

“Really,” Justin said. “And now, you know, I am just gonna leave.”

“No!” Nick yelled. “You can’t leave! Not now! Not…now…” Nick could hardly keep the smile from his face. “I love you, too.”

“Not that way, Nick. You…”

“Yes, that way,” Nick said, walking over to stand in front of him. “I’ve been fighting it for years now, but I finally realized it. I love you. I want…I want us to be, well, an us. Forever…or at least as long as we can stand each other.”

“You’re not serious,” Justin whispered.

“Dead serious,” Nick said.

Their lips met clumsily, neither knowing exactly what to do, but knowing what they wanted to happen. Nick’s arms went around Justin’s waist as he pulled him close, and Justin’s hands went up into Nick’s soft hair.

“Wow,” Justin said finally, leaning his forehead against Nick’s.

“Wow,” Nick repeated. He smiled at Justin and kissed him again. Justin’s stomach growled, making them jump. Justin giggled bashfully, burying his head in Nick’s shoulder. “You want dinner?”

“Yeah,” Justin said softly.

“Whatever my boy wants,” Nick said, and Justin’s heart leapt at the words. “And then I can kick your ass at Playstation.”

“Hardly,” Justin said, pulling Nick in for another kiss.

 

 _Oh, I want to say this right, and it has to be tonight, just need you to know…I don’t want to live this life, I don’t want to say goodbye, with you I wanna spend the rest of my life…_

 

THE END


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